Power Question #26: What's one thing you didn't try today that you wanted to?

The flip side of what did you try. This one is harder. It surfaces the moments your child held back.

Why is this a power question?

Every player, at every level, has moments where they consider doing something brave and decide not to. The move they could have tried but didn't. The pass they could have attempted but played safe instead. The shot they were in position for but checked back.

These moments are usually invisible — even to the player. They get buried in the swirl of the game. But asking "what's one thing you didn't try today that you wanted to?" pulls them into the light.

The question is gentle but specific. It assumes there was something — and there almost always was. The honesty of the answer tells you what your child is willing to admit, which is itself a developmental marker.

This question also signals something important: the parent isn't only interested in successes. They're interested in the choices, including the ones not made. That permission to talk about not trying is rare and valuable.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

The discomfort here is real. You're asking your child to name a moment of restraint or fear — and that's vulnerable.

Lead with safety. "Was there a moment you wanted to try something but didn't?" — casual, no judgment.

If they shut down or say "no," don't push. You may have asked at the wrong time, or the right answer may be too tender to share. Try again in a week.

If they share something, do not coach. Especially do not say "why didn't you?" — that turns the moment into an inquisition. Instead: "What stopped you?" — which is more curious than accusatory.

What you might learn

The answers can be surprisingly vulnerable:

"I wanted to take that free kick but I told the coach to give it to her instead." "I almost took the shot but I passed at the last second." "I wanted to play forward but I was scared to ask." "I almost called out the kid who was being mean to my teammate."

What you're learning is where your child's edge is — the place where they're nearly brave but not quite. That edge is where development happens.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"What stopped you?" — opens up the internal voice without judging it.

"Do you want to try it next time?" — turns reflection into intention.

"What would have to be true for you to try it?" — gets at the conditions.

A takeaway

The moments your child held back are the moments where their next leap is hiding. "What's one thing you didn't try today that you wanted to?" is the question that points the flashlight at those moments — and quietly invites them to try.