Power Question #28: What would you tell yourself before the game?

This one is asked after. It's about pre-game self-talk — but in reverse. What does your child wish they had told themselves before kickoff?

Why is this a power question?

Self-talk is one of the most powerful tools in sport. The thing a player tells themselves walking onto the field shapes how they play in real, measurable ways. But almost no young player has been taught to think about self-talk intentionally.

Asking this question after the fact does two things. It builds the awareness that self-talk exists and matters. And it surfaces a specific message your child wishes they'd given themselves — which is information they can use next time.

It's also a clever way to teach mental skills without lecturing. You're not telling your child what they should say to themselves before games. You're inviting them to figure it out from their own experience.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

This one can sound abstract to a younger player. "What would I tell myself? I don't know — like, what?"

Make it concrete: "Like — if you could go back to the locker room before kickoff, what would you remind yourself?" That gives them a specific scene to imagine.

If they shrug, that's fine. Try again next week. Some kids need to encounter the question several times before it clicks.

What you might learn

The answers can be quietly profound:

"That I'm good enough to play with these kids." "That mistakes are okay." "That I should just have fun." "That the other team is just as nervous as me." "That my coach trusts me to play."

Each one of these is a self-talk script your child invented themselves. Now they know it. Next week, they can use it.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"How would it have changed things?" — gets at the practical impact.

"Could you say that to yourself this week?" — turns the reflection into intention.

"Where did that come from?" — opens up where your child's voice in their own head is coming from.

A takeaway

Players who can talk to themselves with kindness and focus play better than players who can't. "What would you tell yourself before the game?" is the question that quietly builds that voice — using your child's own wisdom as the script.