Empathy + tactics + ownership, all in one question. One of the most underrated questions on the list.
Why is this a power question?
It puts your child in the coach's chair for a moment. To answer, they have to consider the whole team — not just their own game. They have to think about what the team needs, not just what they want. That's a perspective shift most young players don't get to practice.
It also builds empathy toward the coach. A player who has tried to imagine the coach's job is less likely to assume the coach is being unfair or arbitrary when decisions don't go their way. The empathy comes naturally — once they realize how many considerations the coach is juggling.
And it surfaces something useful for you as a parent: what your child thinks the team needs. That's intel you can carry quietly into your own observations.
What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question
The risk is that your child uses it as an opportunity to vent. "I'd play me at center mid because the kid who plays there now sucks."
Don't shut that down — but redirect gently. "Got it. What else would you do differently?" That gets them past the personal grievance into the larger view.
If they say "I don't know," that's normal. The question requires a moment of imagination most kids don't naturally extend. Try: "Even one small thing. A drill? A different lineup? More water breaks?" That helps them find an angle.
What you might learn
The answers are often surprisingly thoughtful:
"I'd make us play possession more in practice." "I'd let the quieter kids lead the warm-up sometimes." "I'd let everyone try a different position once." "I'd let people talk during games instead of yelling at them."
What you're hearing is your child's coaching values — what they would prioritize if they were in charge. That tells you what they value in coaches generally, and gives you language for conversations about which coaches they thrive under.
How you can probe for more if your player is interested
"What's the hardest part of coaching that you'd struggle with?" — gets them to empathize with the harder parts of the job.
"Has your coach done any of that?" — pulls the imagination back into reality.
"Do you ever want to coach?" — opens up a broader conversation.
A takeaway
Players who can imagine the coach's chair are players who become better coaches of themselves. "What would you do if you were coaching the team?" is the question that quietly trains both empathy and tactical thinking at the same time.
