Power Question #14: What did you do when a teammate made a mistake?

The mirror of question 13. And in some ways, more revealing — because it tells you what kind of teammate your child is becoming.

Why is this a power question?

Every coach in the world will tell you the same thing: the players who lift teammates up after mistakes are the players you build a team around. The players who roll their eyes, throw their hands up, or visibly sulk make every other player on the field worse — including themselves.

Asking "what did you do when a teammate made a mistake?" puts your child in the position of the observer of their own reaction. Most kids aren't aware of what their body language does in the moment after a teammate's error. The question makes them aware.

It also quietly tells your child that the way they treat their teammates matters — not just as a moral thing, but as a developmental thing. A player who is known for being supportive becomes the player teammates want to play with. That has compounding effects across years.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

The discomfort here usually comes from worry that your child will admit something they're not proud of. "I yelled at her." "I didn't pass to him after that."

If they admit it, hold the moment lightly. "That happens — what would you do next time?" opens a door. Lecturing closes it. You can also just say "thanks for telling me" and move on. They're already evaluating themselves; you don't need to pile on.

If they say "nothing" — that's also worth probing softly. *"Nothing" can mean they didn't notice (a problem), didn't care (a bigger problem), or just don't remember (probably fine).

What you might learn

The answers can be surprisingly textured.

"I picked her up." "I told him good try." "I called for the ball so he could pass." "I didn't look at him for the next five minutes because I was annoyed."

What you're getting is a snapshot of your child as a teammate — under pressure, in real time. That's data you almost never get any other way.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"How did your teammate respond?" — gets at whether the gesture landed.

"Has someone done that for you?" — flips the question into empathy.

"Who's the best teammate in those moments on your team?" — invites them to study someone they respect.

A takeaway

Soccer is a team sport. The players coaches keep around, year after year, are the players who make their teammates better. "What did you do when a teammate made a mistake?" is the question that quietly builds that habit — and tells your child you notice the part of their game that isn't about the ball.