Power Question #15: What did your teammate do that helped you?

Most kids think of their teammates as competition — for playing time, for praise, for status. This question gently flips that. It asks them to notice what their teammates gave them.

Why is this a power question?

Naming what a teammate did is two skills at once: paying attention to people other than yourself, and recognizing help. Both are habits that pay off everywhere — in soccer, in school, in adult life.

The question also seeds gratitude — without forcing it. You're not asking your child to feel grateful. You're just asking them to notice. Gratitude tends to follow noticing.

And it makes the team feel like a team. A player who routinely identifies what their teammates do well is a player who genuinely values the people they play with. Coaches notice. Teammates notice. The whole environment around your child becomes warmer.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

This one rarely creates discomfort, but two notes.

If your child says "nothing" repeatedly, that might be a clue about the team environment — maybe it's not very supportive — or about your child's tendency to focus only on themselves. Both are worth noticing without lecturing.

Don't supply the answer. "Well, didn't your teammate make a great pass to you?" takes the noticing away. The whole point is for them to do it.

What you might learn

The answers can be quietly beautiful.

"She told me 'next ball' when I missed the open one." "He was right there when their forward got past me — he covered." "My midfielder kept finding me even when I wasn't open."

These are moments your child noticed and held onto. The fact that they remember them, hours later, tells you something good about how they're experiencing the team.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"Did you tell them?" — opens the door to a small habit of expressing appreciation directly.

"Do they do that a lot?" — pulls it into pattern.

"Is there a teammate you'd want to be more like?" — turns admiration into intention.

A takeaway

A player who notices what teammates give them grows up to be a player who gives back. "What did your teammate do that helped you?" is a small habit that, over years, builds a generous teammate. The kind every team wants — and the kind coaches build rosters around.