Power Question #32: What's something hard right now you want to work on?

Specific. Forward-looking. Self-directed. Three ingredients of a great developmental conversation.

Why is this a power question?

It pushes past the easy framings. "What do you want to get better at?" gets you generic answers — finishing, speed, defending. Adding something hard right now shifts the question. It asks your child to name the current edge — the thing they're already wrestling with, not the abstract future improvement.

The phrasing also includes the word you, emphasized by placement: you want to work on. Not what the coach thinks they should work on. Not what you, the parent, think they should work on. What they want. That's the difference between a developmental plan and a homework assignment.

When a child names their own thing, they're 10x more likely to actually work on it.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

The risk is hearing something you weren't expecting — something the coach is working on, something you hadn't noticed, something tactical you don't understand.

That's fine. You're not the expert. Your job is just to hear it.

If they say "I don't know," don't push. The question may take a few asks before they have an answer. Sometimes the right answer surfaces in the shower three days later.

If they name something you have opinions about, hold them. They named their thing. The conversation succeeded.

What you might learn

The answers tell you what your child is currently wrestling with:

"My weak foot — it feels weird every time." "Not giving up when we're losing." "Heading — I'm scared of the ball." "Asking the coach a question without feeling dumb."

That last one — a non-technical skill — is often the most important one. Players who can name their own emotional or social edge usually grow faster than players who can only name technical things.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"What would help you work on it?" — opens up what kind of support, if any, they want.

"How will you know when it's getting better?" — gets them to define their own measure of success.

"What's stopping you from working on it now?" — gets at the obstacle, if there is one.

A takeaway

Self-directed development is the only kind that compounds. "What's something hard right now you want to work on?" is the question that puts your child in the driver's seat — and quietly teaches them that's where they belong.