Power Question #33: What's one thing you want me to know?

An invitation. A door that swings open if your child wants to walk through.

Why is this a power question?

So much of parent-child conversation around sport is parent talking, child responding. This question reverses that. It says: the floor is yours. What do you want me to hear?

For older kids especially, this is gold. They're navigating a complex inner world that we mostly don't see — pressure, friendships, fears, hopes, doubts. Most of the time they don't tell us because we didn't ask in a way that gave them room.

The phrasing matters. Want me to know — not should I know, not do you have to tell me. The agency is theirs. They can choose to share something or not. That permission alone often does the work.

This is the question to ask in the moments your child seems heavier than the game would warrant — but with no agenda. Just an open door.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

This is one of the few questions on the list that can produce a heavy answer. "I want to know I'm thinking about quitting." "I want to know my coach has been kind of mean to me." "I want to know I'm scared of the next tournament."

Your job in those moments is to receive, not to react. The temptation will be to launch into problem-solving mode. Resist it for the first sixty seconds. Just listen.

A good response when you don't know what to say: "Thank you for telling me. I want to think about what you said." That tells them you heard them and aren't going to dismiss it. You can come back to the conversation later.

If they say "nothing", accept it. The door is now open. They may walk through it next week.

What you might learn

You can't predict it. That's the point.

It might be something serious. "I want to know I haven't been having fun for a while."

It might be something small. "I want to know I really like my new teammate."

It might be something tangential. "I want to know I'm worried about my Spanish test."

All of it is valuable. They told you something they wouldn't have told you otherwise. That's a win, whatever the content.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

After they share, the best follow-up is usually just acknowledgment. "Thanks for telling me that." "That helps me understand." "I'm glad you said that."

If you sense they want help, ask: "Do you want to talk about it more, or is it enough that I know?" That lets them set the scope.

If you sense they want it to land and then drop, let it drop.

A takeaway

Some of the most important conversations parents have with their kids start with this question. It's an invitation more than an inquiry. "What's one thing you want me to know?" — asked sincerely, with no agenda — opens doors that no specific question can.