Power Question #35: What's a routine you want to keep?

A maintenance question. Most parents only ask about what to change. This one asks about what to protect.

Why is this a power question?

Players develop through habits. Some are working — and those deserve to be defended, not improved. This question makes your child identify what's working and consciously protect it.

It also pushes back against the constant-improvement mindset that can turn youth sport into an endless to-do list. Sometimes the right answer isn't add more. It's don't drop what's already working.

The word routine matters. Not thing. Routine implies repetition, consistency, structure. Your child is being asked to name not just a moment of success but a pattern of behavior they want to preserve.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

The discomfort here is rare — but the answer can sometimes be revealing in uncomfortable ways. A child who says "I want to keep playing only with my best friend" is naming a routine that might not actually serve them.

Don't argue. Note it. "That's interesting. Why does that matter to you?" opens the conversation without judging the routine.

If your child can't name any routine they want to keep, that itself is information. Either they're not yet identifying their habits, or there genuinely aren't many routines yet. Both are workable.

What you might learn

The answers can be unexpectedly mature:

"My pre-game stretch — I always feel ready after it." "Asking my coach a question after every practice." "Writing one thing in my notes after a game." "Walking the dog the morning of game days."

That last one is interesting — a routine that's barely about soccer. But it works for them. Worth defending.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"Why does it work for you?" — gets at the underlying mechanism.

"What threatens it?" — invites them to notice what could erode the routine.

"How can I help protect it?" — opens the door to your role, if any.

A takeaway

Not everything worth doing needs to be improved. "What's a routine you want to keep?" is the question that quietly teaches your child to value continuity — to recognize that what's working is its own kind of accomplishment.