Power Question #7: What surprised you out there?

Surprise is information. It means your child's brain noticed a gap between what they expected and what actually happened. That gap is almost always where learning lives.

Why is this a power question?

Asking about surprise pulls your child's attention to the unexpected — which is exactly where the interesting parts of a session usually are. Predictable moments don't teach much. The moment a defender did something they'd never seen, the moment a teammate made a play that opened their eyes, the moment they realized they could do something they didn't think they could — those are the moments worth talking about.

The question also bypasses the rehearsed answers. Kids have stock responses for "how was it?" They almost never have a stock answer for "what surprised you?" That alone gets you a more honest conversation.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

This one rarely creates discomfort, but a few notes.

It can feel like a weird question to a younger player who's not used to thinking about their own surprise. Help them by giving examples without supplying answers: "Like — was there a moment you didn't expect? A teammate who did something different? A part that was harder or easier than you thought?"

If they say "nothing surprised me," that's actually informative. It might mean the session was routine. It might also mean they're not paying close attention — which is its own conversation, gently.

Don't probe a surprise that obviously bothered them more than they want to share. If they shrug it off, let them.

What you might learn

Surprise answers are often unexpectedly specific.

"The other team had a girl who was way faster than I thought." "My coach actually let me play right back, I thought she wouldn't." "That kid from my school is way better now than he was last year."

These tell you what your child is paying attention to — and what they were quietly assuming before the session. That's a window into their mental model of the game that you almost never get any other way.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"Did it change anything for you?" — gets at whether the surprise led to a new plan or just a moment.

"Did anyone else notice?" — opens up the social layer.

"What did you think before?" — gets at the assumption that was overturned, which is often the most useful part.

A takeaway

Curiosity is a developmental skill, not a personality trait. "What surprised you?" is a small, repeatable way to train it. Players who stay curious keep developing for years longer than players who don't.