Power Question #6: What's one thing you did well?

This one is harder than it looks. Most young players are quicker to name what went wrong than what went right. That's exactly why the question matters.

Why is this a power question?

Players who can identify their own good moments — without prompting — are players who are building an internal feedback loop. They notice what works. They register the wins. They start to see themselves as capable, not because a parent or coach told them so, but because they have the receipts.

Asking "what's one thing you did well?" trains that habit. It also pushes back gently against the negativity bias most kids carry after a tough session. One missed shot can erase three great runs in a child's memory. This question forces them to look for the runs.

The key word is one. Not five. Not "what was the best thing." Just one. The bar is low on purpose — every player can name one thing if they try.

What to do if you are uncomfortable asking the question

Some parents worry this sounds like fishing for compliments, or that it'll feel forced. A few small adjustments help.

Ask it casually. "Anything you did well out there?" lands easier than "Tell me what you did well." Don't make it ceremonial.

Be ready for self-deprecation. Some kids will instinctively deflect: "Nothing really." Hold the silence. If they still can't land on something, you can soften it: "Even a small thing — like a good first touch or a smart pass." That gives them permission to count the quiet wins.

Don't supply the answer for them. "You played great defense in the second half!" feels supportive but actually takes the question away. The whole point is for them to do the noticing.

What you might learn

You'll learn what your child quietly considers a "win." Sometimes it's the obvious thing — a goal, an assist. Often it's something smaller and more telling: "I didn't get tired in the second half." "I called for the ball three times when I usually don't." "I helped a teammate get up after she fell."

That last category — the wins that aren't about the ball — tells you a lot about who your child is becoming as a teammate and a person. Listen for them.

You'll also start to notice what they can't name. A player who genuinely cannot find one thing they did well across multiple sessions may be in a confidence dip, may be playing a role they're not suited for, or may have absorbed a coaching style that emphasizes critique. All of that is worth noticing without making a big deal of it.

How you can probe for more if your player is interested

"How did you know it was good?" — gets at their criteria for success.

"Would you do it again next time?" — gets at whether they see it as repeatable.

"Did anyone else notice?" — opens a sideways conversation about teammates, coaches, attention.

Don't escalate it into a victory lap. The point is noticing, not celebrating.

A takeaway

Confidence is built by the things a player notices about themselves — not the things you notice for them. The question "what's one thing you did well?" is one of the most direct ways to help your child build that internal voice. Use it often. Watch them get better at it.